Beaten on the Post
It was a warm summer evening in July, my country’s day of independence, yet I could not be any further away from the waving stars and stripes and beer can hat holders. No, I was in my beloved Berlin on a train to Spandau wearing nothing but a corset under a rain coat and knee high boots. I had been summoned by my “master” to meet in the woods for several hours of nature, sekt, and spanking. The long ride gave me time to imagine what people were thinking as they looked at me, my attire, and expression. I was very turned on by my request for the evening, but did not know how turned on I was until my bare ass touched the seat as I sat down. I felt so dirty and exposed, but I think that is what he wanted me to feel, although he was not there to see it. The longer the ride, the more I was turned on, thinking about what he would do to me in the deep dark forest.
When I entered the car, he told me to open the glove box. There inside was my 300€ ans a dog collar and line. He told me to remove both of them and explained that once I put on the collar, I am his bitch to do what he says. He placed the collar around my neck and kissed my forehead. We drove for about 20 minutes, so my fear of being too far away from civilization was calmed. As we drove he placed his fingers between my lips and then tasted me and said he could not wait for his little slave to remove her jacket. We arrived just at dusk to a recently cleared pasture lined with what seemed like never ending green. He had been there a few days before to mark the path to a special place. He led my line until we reached our first post, where he finally told me to remove my coat. I disbanded my belt and slow and decisively I unzipped my jacket and let it fall to the ground, exposing my shimmering white skin in the light of the full moon.
My master took hold of my leash and brushed the cool metal links across my breasts, as he studied the form of his beloved slave girl. He soaked in the details of my curves, how my hair fell on to my back, all the way to the crease of my posterior and then gab her a gentle slap and grip. He then began to lead me into the woods, but found it a struggle to guide the way and keep his eyes on me, and suddenly he said stop! You will lead the way….I want to watch your ass as you walk. Although it was dark, my skin was a complete glow, I myself could not stop looking down upon my breasts and enjoying the view in the moonlight. The excitement made my nipples hard and the warm breeze through my exposed ocelot made her begin to pulsate in her provocation.
I was secure in my trust for my master. This was not a problem, as I was quite aroused. As we continued our way into the thicket, I became slightly startled when I heard a herd of wild boar scrambling through the bushes just ahead. I maintained my composure and made as much noise walking as I could, so to keep them away. After all, I will be tied up helpless to a tree! We continued to a small and quaint open valley. Surrounded by tall trees was an open patch of plain seated just below the warm gaze of the moon. All I could do was soak in the elements of nature around me and I could not be anymore at peace. Feeling the fresh air in my lungs, on my lips, and dancing on my skin, I also never felt more sexy. My master commanded me to place my palms on a tree in the corner, while he laid out a blanket, our toys, a pillow, and some wine. When he completed his task, he requested that I join him for a libation. But first, he placed the shackles around my wrists for me not to forget my place.
After our moment of basking in the moonlight with our wine, he asked me if I remembered my positions for command. For a moment I had forgotten, as it had been some months since our last session. In my hesitation he exclaimed, for that you shall be punished. He shoved his cock in my mouth and smothered me until I was deprived of just enough air. He pulled back and gave me a small smack across the face and grabbed my lips tightly pulling them to his and then he kissed me passionately. Now, he said, what is the position for awaiting orders? I placed the pillow on the ground and delicately bent down to my knees with spread legs, my hands behind my back, and my head bowing in submission. Good girl, he said, as he rubbed his cock along the back of my neck, unbeknown this place on my body is one of my most sensitive erogenous zones. However, there was no hiding my arousal in this moment, as he placed his fingers between my legs and felt the cool wetness dripping from my lips. Triumphantly he gave her a spank and then licked the nectar from the palm of his hand.
He then commanded me to the punishment position. I had no problems with my commands, as all was coming back to me… it was like riding a bike. I slowly stood up and walked over to the tree placing my palms open embracing the bark. I bent my ass out as far as I could with a completely arched back, legs spread…completely exposed, nothing but silence for a moment, until I heard the crack of the riding crop across my ass. For sure, I heard the cracking of the object across my ass, long before I felt it. Several cracks, I could hear, feel, sense nothing but the echoing of the cracks in the dark wood. The sound was invigorating. However, he could sense my complete enjoyment and therefore he stopped.
My last command was to show him the position for desire. I slowly move away from my corner to the blanket spread. Deliberately angling my body in co-ordinance with the light of the moon, I got on all fours, reached behind and spread myself open to him. I do not know what came over me, but I suppose it was the nature and my full exposure in it, but my pussy was throbbing. My master could sense this, so he refrained from touching me, rather he lifted me up by my hair and then gently caressed my face and told me how beautiful I was, just before he shoved his cock back into my mouth. There in the open nature, our audience of trees, random hidden animals, and the moon and stars above, I blew him deep and hard until he was about to cum….and he pulled away. It was not until he could not take any more that he pushed me back and began to lick and taste my juices. Playing with my asshole with his tongue and encircling it with his fingers, which I exploded all over his face. A never ending torrent of liquid alacrity spewed from my crevice.
The howling of my deepest passion roared in unison with the fireworks spectacle in the next town. This added the perfect ambiance to express my enthusiasm for this particular moment in my sex. The green, red, and blue light from above cascaded against my body illuminating the curvature of my breasts and my facial features. The out poor of my ecstasy left my body completely destitute and we took a few moments to intimately reflect on our actions and replenish our strength for what was to come next.
After our pause, my master picked up the ropes and a few toys and a headlamp and guided me deeper into the forest. Earlier he had found a couple of smaller trees close enough together to tether me to. Standing me in an X formation, he slowly tied each wrist and each ankle to my hosts. He then blindfolded me and gagged my mouth, he left me standing there, wanting, desiring, and teasing with silence. The anticipation built up and my pussy was once again dripping. Out of nowhere I hear the lovely sound once again of the clapping of my ass, this time with a paddle. He alternated in paddling my ass and tweaking my nipples until he could no longer resist. I heard him open the condom wrapper and for some reason, this is a huge turn on. Then I feel him penetrate my pussy with his cock, finally being filled, I could not stop the rush of liquid as I felt it run down my legs. Not being able to get the perfect position to climax, he released me from my ties, grabbed my collar and pulled me to our place in the grass, bent me over and gave it to me hard. As he was about to cum, he quickly removed his condom and exploded his sperm all over my face. He took the time to gaze upon my face and enjoy the reflective glimmer of his seed in the moons grace.
Read more: http://confessionsofawhoreinberlin.blogspot.com/#ixzz2GA3hnh8l
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution
Let’s face it, it is an orifice and therefore…!
We have come a long way in our sexual advances over the centuries. At first sex before marriage was a taboo, although in some parts of our society this is still a cardinal sin, the majority of us disregard this rule on the basis of free will. We have also progressed in the sense that we are not completely covered and lying there waiting for “the miracle to come”, so to speak. We engage regularly in activities that bring us pleasure and anal sex is no different.
First and foremost, I was never a huge fan of anal sex. For me, I felt anal sex was the “gateway drug” to homosexuality and I admit this was a very ignorant standpoint I once had. I also never used to enjoy it, because I was not comfortable with myself and my sexuality in my youth. Coming from the viewpoint, that as a woman, I had little power or say about my enjoyment of sex. I presented myself in a manner that reflected a common occurrence in women’s sexuality, I am here to please the man, I want him to like me, I want him to desire me, therefore everything I do, I do for his pleasure and not my own. This explained my inability to orgasm with a man until I was much older and wiser about my role in sex. The idea of anal sex was my boundary, but I just didn’t realize it. I would say no as a power tool, rather than exploring the experience for myself.
I do not in any way want to be misunderstood when sharing my perspective. I will never try to influence someone to do something that they themselves do not want to do, especially when it comes to pleasing a man to only keep him interested. However, there is an interesting statistic from my own life experience that I can share to put things in a new light, food for thought. In my experience as an escort, 95% of my clients were married or in a relationship and of that 95% about 80% were seeking to have anal sex and were willing to pay a lot more for it. Anal sex is THE most desired and sought after sex act along with “the Girlfriend Sex” and then of course “unprotected sex”. Men would pay 1000’s€ for this and as I am a proponent for safe sex only, I never engaged in this, but as I said, food for thought.
There are some very legitimate and controversial signals we can gauge from this little bit of information. 1 anal sex is desired so much, that men will step out of their relationships to have it and 2 they also desire the feeling of being with a girlfriend, the deep passionate feeling of touching, kissing, and feeling of love and are willing to pay for it. It saddened me each time I would encounter this type of man. I would think, what is happening at home? Is it the tabooness of anal that he seeks or is he really seeking something deeper? In Madame Bovary, when she gives her ass to her lover, it is not the relinquishment to his sexual desire, it is coming to a point in her sexuality, where she is freed. She and her lover can let everything around them go and unite completely as one. I think contrary to belief, men really seek to be great lovers to their partners and because they have a closer relationship to the animalistic nature of Man, the realization and execution of such desire can easily be misguided or misunderstood.
As women we can sometimes feel burdened with the sex drive of our men, but when you really break it down, sex in our relationships is about connection. It is the one time in our daily lives that we put everything aside, we can escape, we can engage with our other half and even though sometimes men can express this desire in a way that a woman can interpret as pestilence, it is his way of desiring to be close to you. It is a way to express his feelings for you without words.
Common mistakes made in relationships is setting expectations too high, thinking you already know what the other person wants and why, not being open to each other, not trusting, and the biggest is not communicating. Communicating is not just a one sided conversation. Communication requires using all of your senses, sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. When you are open to using your senses in communication, you understand each other more.
So back to the topic of anal sex! Anal sex should not be used as a tool to control behavior. For men, not a reason to cheat and dominate a woman; and for women not to be used as a boundary because you feel insecure about expressing your need to be pleased. Believe it or not, men like a woman who is secure in her sexuality and a woman who knows her body and wields that power in the bedroom. So why should you taking charge of the anal factor be any different?
Anal sex can be very pleasurable, although society would dictate otherwise. We are told from an early stage in life that that: this is homosexual and unacceptable and that this is a dirty area and in our minds, why would anyone want to play in a dirty area? Well, dirtiness we have control over or do we not? Here are a few tips for both sexes to achieve a positive experience with anal sex.
Eliminate the feeling of being dirty. Hygiene is the most important factor along with comfort. The FEAR FACTOR is the #1 killer of anal desire.
WINE HER, DINE HER rule does not apply for anal. It is recommended to wait at least 3 hours after a meal to allow a natural processing of food.
Eating a light and fiber rich diet can help maintain intestinal tract.
The #1 complaint during anal sex, is too much pressure. So if you are eating high processed foods, chances are you will feel this more.
Have a nice shower together. This can be a great form of foreplay, but also ensure a feeling of mutual cleanliness. An enema will also alleviate the feeling of bloating, fullness, and clean your rectum out to ensure no “Slip Ups”.
Never ever, ever just ram something in. No fingers, no toys, and no penis. The anus is very sensitive and responsive to touch and as long as it is not an abrasive contact gentlemen, the response most likely will be positive. Moistness and softness is key.
Do not over stimulate the area. Remember, stimulate more than one place. Start with short brushes or strokes to the area.
You are looking for the “ooh yah” factor
and not the “OH” factor.
Work slowly to this area and pay attention to her body language, facial expression, and breathing.
LUBE is very important and do not skimp! Waterbased lube is highly recommended for a few reasons:
Oil based lubes change the PH balance in women and can cause bladder and yeast infection
Oil based lubes break down condoms
Working up the sexual energy in the pelvic region for women takes time. Playing with her and getting her aroused and relaxed is very important, not just for anal sex, but especially. Do not be overly excited and start putting things in. No hard tongues, no fingers…keep it light and on the outside.
When she is ready then she should be in control, after all she knows what is feeling good and what is not. I have found that lying in the spoon position, lube on the anus, and his hard penis just around the area has aroused the interest mentally to have anal. Then what I do is move my pelvis in a circular motion, so my anus is massaged on the outside with his penis. It feels good for both partners building us both up and generating blood flow to the pelvic region. Slowly within the circular motion, start small tilts of the pelvis, this way one can control how much, how fast, and how hard the penis begins to enter. Once the outer sphincter is relaxed and takes in the head, then the head of his penis massages the inner sphincter and slowly, with ease and pleasure start to guide him in.
Men should be patient and should be paying attention to her body language, facial features, and breathing
Remember you are not in a porn movie and this is ok! It is about your connection with each other and nothing else
Once you go in the back door, do not go back in through the front!
There is a reason women should wipe front to back! Any fecal matter in the vagina can also cause infections and strange and
Remove the booty condom, or if you are in a monogamous and STD free relationship, wash your penis and or fingers before
inserting them back into the vagina.
If she is still not 100% sure she wants to continue, do not persist. The positive aspect here is not measured by the successfulness of penetration, but rather is measured by your connection through communication with the use of all your senses. When this is the positive outcome, you have moved further in your relationship. It is all about expectation and the evaluation thereof.
When I see partners stepping out of relationships, like I said, it saddens me, especially in the case of anal sex. On the part of expectation and desire for anal sex, I wonder why someone would remain in a relationship with someone who does not exhibit the same sexual openness. I find it very unfair. Unfair to one’s self, because you are only denying your sexuality and in this denial you build up resentment, but for the partner, this pressure is very hard to combat to maintain trust and a sense of self, performing anal sex only to keep him.
Sex is by far not the most important part in a relationship; however it is key to the relationship to have a healthy sex life together. Regardless as to whether we place a high level of importance on sex or not, it is the cultivator of a large portion of our positive and negative energies that maneuver our relationship and ignoring, denying, and closing it off will only ever manifest negatively.
Constant communication is the only way we will ever know each other. Remember that we are always changing and so is our sexuality. One day you may not like or may not desire something and the next day you are. So fellas, just because when you first got married or started the relationship, she did not want anal sex, does not mean later on down the line, that she won’t be open to it. And ladies, take more time to know your sexual bodies and claim pleasures for yourself and focus less on his desires.
What is sexual ecstasy? Have you experienced it before? What was the feeling? Out of body? Illuminating? Blissful? Enlightening? What are the limits? Intense sexual pleasure is one of our most sought after experiences as humans and one of our greatest resources of energy.
Sex is often regarded with multiple levels of fears and enchantment. We hunger sexual intimacy with such intensity, restrictions of etiquette in society have been set into motion to restrict it. While our desire is high, we also go through great efforts to avoid it. We yearn for connections, touches, and caresses, yet we are held back by fear: fear of disappointment, shame, and being vulnerable. In our long term partnerships, we may wish to reignite lost passions, but have forgotten how to strike the match.
Through the practice of Tantra we are able to reclaim our birthright, that of achieving sexual intimacy. Tantra provides guidance, that we may discover new erotic delights and expand upon the regimental sexual practice and turn them into a lifetime of sexual bliss.
What is Tantra?
Discovery of Tantra
Tantra has been practiced in many eastern cultures dating back to 5-9AD and emerged as a rebellion against organized religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach civilization. Tantra challenged the penetrating beliefs of that time, conveying that, not only sexuality was a doorway to the divine, but also earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing and creative expression were sacred acts.
The word Tantra means “to manifest, to develop, to arrive and to connect.” In this context, sex is thought to expand consciousness and to intertwine the polarities of male (Lord Shiva), and female (Goddess Shakti), into a harmonious whole, thus arousing the energy of Kundalini, the dormant force in human orgasm. The very strong, intense and curative energy sets free a residual power of pure desire and the awakening results in deep meditation, enlightenment, and bliss.
Tantric sexual practices teach us to prolong the act of making love and to utilize potent orgasmic energies more effectively and to benefit from the sexual wisdom of this ancient art, one needs not adopt the Tantric religious mantras.
Because of our social restrictions on sex, the act has become more of a source of recreation rather than a means of transcendence. The goal for many may be to reach orgasm rather than to pleasure our lover or to connect with him or her more fully.
This kind of lovemaking tends to have a distinct beginning and ending, with a climax somewhere in between and an average duration of 10 to 15 minutes. Whereas, women can take about 20 minutes before they can reach full arousal, this type of sexual experience can be deeply unsatisfying. The goal of our sex should no longer reflect intercourse as the means to an end.
In the Tantric model, the sexual experience is seen as a dance with no beginning or end. There is no goal, only the present moment of exquisite union. For this reason, lovemaking is meditative, expressive and intimate. Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that women and men can experience several orgasms in a single sexual encounter.
Tantric circles teach us to break down our long established fears; teach us our own inner sexual being; and reconstruct our consciousness to embrace and cultivate that energy to a more fulfilling resolution. Reconnecting with your body as a temple of sexual desire will allow you to connect with your partner in a new and profound way.
In this microcosmic cyber word, we find it very easy to go to extremes in personality and disregard common etiquette. In this sphere, we are at ease with ourselves, disregard fears mandated by society, and in some instances we are more in tune with our desires. However, because we are not used to this level of consciousness some tend to be more or less self aware.
For several months I ran a personal study to see what out of the ordinary sex practices people were into: Scat or Kaviar Play, Watersports, Strap-Ons, Unwashed pussy, sex with a goat, etc. The study was conducted on Craigslist and OK Cupid. On Craigslist, my ads were very very direct and mixed between kinky and normal (Wanna fling poo with me or pretty girl looking for nice guy) and on OK Cupid I provided a very sincere and real profile abut myself. Although on OK Cupid, I received more responses (about 75%) from individuals interested in getting to know me, the majority of my responses were of men sending me a picture of their cock. At this point, the study on what kinky things people were into became a moot point. Now I was wondering what was up with all the cock picks?
A few points that came to mind:
Am I so sexually objectified by men, that this is how men can feel themselves sexually objectified? Is this the only level in which a man can communicate?
When and if I decide to meet this penis, will he provide a good conversation? So on our date, obviously there will be no eye contact, he will be looking at my tits and I will be wanking him under the table?
Have the roles of men become so redefined, that this is the only form of self worth he has? What I mean is, men have had to start to share the office with women, share with child raising, and even in some cases taking on more feminine roles at work or at home. Before it was his duty to provide and protect…this is not the case as much anymore. So has he resorted to the only thing he feels he has left?
What does he get out of sending me a pic of his cock? He surely can’t see my response, so it could not be the shock factor.
Then it hit me after a conversation with a Tantra Master…
Perhaps some of these men are more in tune with their sexual selves. They are able to break through societal norms, let go of religious and social values and be one with themselves. We are constantly living in a world that oppresses us sexually and online, the anonymity can provide a safe zone to explore these attributes we have been denied. He said, ” so perhaps you should try not being offended, if you are not offended by his sexual communication, you are more open to how you can communicate sexually”.
After this conversation I feel more enlightened than before. I will no longer be offended by the cock handshake, but I still stand behind the fact: A cock dressed in a cock suit is still a cock; a cock dressed in a man suit is still just a cock; a man dressed in a cock suit is just hiding; and a man dressed as a man still has a chance to be a cock.
Here is a link to my COCK HANDSHAKE compilation and as ever, your comments and input are not only welcome, they are encouraged.
Sex on a Stick, on a Sidewalk, at a Train Station, Oh My!
For those of you unbeknown to the term FtM it means Female to Male Transgender
FTM Sex on Schönhauser Allee
It was in November and it was bloody cold out. I had met yet another Female to Male trans guy and he was quite handsome. Very different to my ex “M”, as he had been transitioning for years. His breasts had been removed along with the internal female organs. His urethra was redirected to his even more so extended clitoris and his penis was being constructed on his forearm for the next OP. He was very hairy and masculine and there was no question about his gender whatsoever. We started flirting the moment we met. Every time we went out we flirted and we actually became very good friends, texting each other all day and night…always chatting.
One night we went out and it happened to be amidst my ex and my ex-friend. He was a complete gentleman and stayed by me the whole time. After several drinks later, he asked me if I wanted to make my ex jealous. I said, no, I think us being here together is doing that enough. He said, because I could kiss you. But I could not do it. However, I did suggest us go into the back of the bar away from them and make out. But before we could act upon it, the bar started closing and everyone went out front. I remained inside waiting for my friend to return from the toilet. When he returned I told him to kiss me. He did, vigorously and passionately. Of course, outside the window, the group had seen us.
We scooted out of the bar a little light headed from the kiss and joined the rest of the group. They invited us for pizza around the corner, but he declined the offer and said, he was going to make sure I get home safely. Arm in arm we turned the corner walking towards the tram and train station. Just above the train station is the Schönhauser Allee mall. It was about 4:30am and quite fucking cold. We walked along the walk way between the mall store fronts and the bridge to the train itself. He and I looked at each other and started kissing. The next thing I know he pushes my up against the storefront window and kisses me harder. He rubs his body against mine, just like a man with a cock would. This was extremely hot for me…knowing he had no cock, but how sensitive what he did have was. It reminded me of being in the hallway of my ex’s.
He began touching my tits and rubbing my nipples which were erect anyway from the cold, but extraordinarily turned on…his touch with my breast was also like that of my ex. It is hard to describe, the way the hands softly but forcibly embraced the whole breast and then the gentle stimulation of my nipples, just made me wet and vulnerable to the moment. Not to mention I enjoy public sex! But the next thing I knew my belt is on the ground, one layer of jackets is on the ground, and my dress is up over my chest and he is sucking my tits. His lips and his tongue felt amazing. The contrast between warm and wet and the bitter cold air was titillating, no pun intended! He was thoroughly enjoying exploring my body, getting down on his knees and licking and kissing. He would not let me touch him below, but he loved it when I touched his chest, scratched his back, and played with his nipples.
Hearing him grunt and whisper in my ear how good I feel made the cold go away. I wanted to feel his body against mine, so I lifted my dress higher and opened up his shirt and rubbed my tits with erect nipples all around his chest and stomach. I licked and kissed him and pulled his body closer to mine. He reached down into my panties and the moment his cold soft fingers touched my pussy, she started to drip. He knew exactly how to play with her. Not to hard, not too soft, not too much clit stimulation and how sensitive the vaginal opening was. I started to flow in ecstasy and I could not help but to howl and moan loudly into the still night. He inserted his fingers bent up towards my g-spot and started pounding and vibrating it and then my knees went weak, my cum rushed out and splashed everywhere with each insertion. His voice whispering in my ear, oh, yah…that’s good girl, oh yah your so fucking wet, just sent me over the edge and I could not help but to scream….I am cumming. I could hear it echo down the tracks and through the mall corridor.
In the times my eyes were open, I could make out random people just walking by heading to catch the train for work and the security guard out of the corner of my eyes. I was surprised no one stopped to watch, but I vaguely remember seeing the security guard more than once. He continued to milk me of all of my juices and only stopped when I had nothing left to give….2 hours later.
The next time we had sex was on Thanksgiving at my friend’s house. This story may be a little more graphic and for some it may be nasty….
Thanksgiving I was not only celebrating my American tradition with turkey, stuffing, mashed tators, and pie, but I was also celebrating getting my Visa to stay in Germany. I was really in the mood to celebrate. I bought 1 bottle of wine and two 1liter bottles of vodka to share. Well since Thanksgiving was an American holiday that falls on a Thursday, most of our German guests did not have it in them to drink quite as much as we Americans had planned to. My friend came to join us later…about 1 bottle of wine for me later. When he arrived I was feeling very good. I had my wine, some gluwein, a few shooters, and a few glasses of vodka on the rocks. The night carried on long after our German guests left. My girlfriend, whose apartment it was, myself, and my friend were the only people left. We sat around and talked about music, sang, watched videos online, got onto the topic of what videos were hot. Then I told my friend to show us the porn video he liked the best. We watched that one and a few others and as I sat at his feet, I could feel his leg twitch letting me know he was horny. I then looked at my other friend (female) and could see the desire in her eyes. I looked at him then her and asked if it would be ok with her wife (sleeping in other room) would mind us having a 3-way, so long as he doesn’t do anything to her? (My female friend, myself, and her wife had previous agreement that we could fuck each other) She was completely down. So I told her to come down to the floor and started kissing her, then started kissing him. I took her clothes off and started enjoying her nipples in my mouth and kissing her. I removed my shirt and kissed him again. I threw her down on her back and crouched above her kissing her and touching her, while he was behind me undoing my pants. I told him I was on my period and he said he did not care…so I didn’t either. He started to finger me from behind and kissing my ass. I continued to play with her, kissing her lips, her tits, and then down to her pussy.
He stopped for a moment and I noticed in my peripherals that he went to smoke a ciggy and watch us. I sucked and licked on her very sweet shaved pussy and then I started to finger her. I had her straddled over me as I was inside her when he returned and pushed me on top of her. He dug his hand between my shoulder blades and then started finger fucking me hard, then he pulled my pants completely off and pushed my ass up higher into the air, all the while, making it hard to maneuver with her. I got thirsty and took a few swigs off the vodka and went back down on her. I must have cut her with my finger nails, because she howled in pain from the sensation of the vodka in my mouth on her pussy. Her wife opened the door and looked in and said something, not sure really and then she left. My friend and I continued on fucking. He had me bent over the bed, the chair, then on the bed with my pussy in the air holding her to his face sucking and licking me. I cannot count how many times I came all over him, his face, his arm…everywhere. It was just a massive explosion of water works that we were bathing in. I was fucking me really hard. I remember it hurting, but feeling so good….I think he was attempting to fist me. We stopped for a smoke break after about an hour or so…not sure. Then he started fucking me on the balcony, then on the floor, and back on the bed.
We both lost track of time, but it was daylight out and we eventually stopped and talked a bit. He said he had to go…he had to be to work in 2 hours. I could not imagine going anywhere….I passed out on the bed and didn’t even say good bye. I woke up the next day around 2pm. I tried standing up and my pussy hurt to holy hell. I could hardly move. But when I stood up and looked around me, I could not believe what I saw. There was blood and cum stains everywhere but the walls. It looked like a slaughter house. I was mortified to say the least. It was so animistic and erotic, but also so bad….this was my friend’s apartment, their sheets, their carpet. I stayed in the room for a while to listen to the sounds of the girls walking around in the kitchen. They did not sound upset or pissed off. So I crept into the kitchen submissively and bashfully to face the music. They were surprisingly cheerful and not really bothered by the atrocity that happened in their living room. I could not apologize enough. They said it was ok, they understood….this happens with girls. Then my friend’s wife wanted to show me something. We walked into the living room and she pointed to a distinct full hand print on the floor. We all started laughing and pointing out all the spots. We all laughed but I was still quite embarrassed at my behavior. We spent the entire rest of the day cleaning by hand the sheets, blankets, and carpets. We even found spot that we think was my girlfriend’s blood and not mine! Maybe from when I cut her with my finger nails. Who knows! All I know was I was in so much pain, walking down the 5 flights of stairs and sitting on the train home, was the most uncomfortable feeling. But I did it with a smile!
A week or so later, my friend and I found ourselves on Schoenhauser Allee again, but the other side…along the sidewalk. Just out of nowhere we start kissing and I am up against the wall. This time it was around 2am and there were many people walking and riding by, but it still did not stop us. My jackets were off, my top was open and bra was laying on the sidewalk. He grinded himself up against me and finger fucked me like he was standing on a bible only to roger me better…like a biological man would. This encounter was not as long as the first, but it surely didn’t lack in intensity, enthusiasm, or water works. I howled and moaned and no passerby was protected from my singing. his fingers inside me just felt so fucking good…I could not help myself.
In the end…I like FtM sex the most of all. The foresight, firsthand knowledge combined with the sexual desire and stamina that comes with testosterone makes the equation complete! The attention to detail, body language, and knowing how a woman likes to be touched and knowing how they have always longed to fuck a woman like a man…proves to be the most erotic engagement in my opinion. That is what I said and I am sticking to it!
The Embodyment of Inno(sense)
Looking back on my life and the lives of people I have had considerable contact with, I make attempts to see crucial moments of impact. Moments that have considerable influence on our thought processes, decisions, how we look at life, and how life in turn looks at us. Society, religion, and media have a significant monopoly on regulating our behavior, especially when it comes to our roles, gender roles in particular. But in my experience, the most significant and what should be the most trustworthy, is that of the family. The family is meant to analyze, interpret, clarify, and in many cases transcend these social signals. My moment of impact came from an amalgamation of familiar and social communications, when I decided to become a whore. When I saw my role in life to be a full-time job and that I should be the boss. A single correspondence between my father and me exemplifies my embodyment of in no sense. (spelled incorrect on purpose)
My Dearest Father,
I came across this letter you wrote to me when I was 15 years old. Do you remember writing this to me?
My Dearest Daughter,
First and foremost, I want you to know how much I love and adore you. You are my angel and princess. I know my restrictions on you in the last years have been hard. I know you think you hate me because I control how late you are allowed to stay out, what you wear, and with whom you go out. But it is for your own good. I am only trying to protect you from the mischief of men. I know it is hard for you to understand at this time, but at some point I hope you will. The truth is that men, especially boys, are driven by their desire for sex. I know with your hormones raging as they are, you are also highly vulnerable to these coercions. I only want to preserve your innocence as long as possible. You cannot trust men, especially these boys, because they lack the capacity to think beyond their hormone driven disposition. I know you also think you hate me, because I give your brother Jake, more freedoms, but he is a man. I do not have to worry about him getting raped or pregnant. I do not know what I would do if anything happened to you my princess. Please try not to hate me for my wanting to protect you. I only want the best for you.
All the love in the world,
I know we have not spoken much since I finished college over 10 years ago, but I have been busy trying to find my place in this world. As a young woman, I looked up to you and we always did things together. In my eyes you were the perfect man. You were always there and you treated mom and me like queens. I do not know the personal details about your divorce, but, through my own experiences in relationships and life, I have a pretty good idea of what happened.
As I have wandered through this journey of life, I have always had in the back of my mind what you said in this letter that you wrote me so long ago, “men are driven by their desire for sex and that you cannot trust them.” You were right, at the time I despised you so much for not allowing me to learn how to carry myself in this man’s world, but rather you kept me hidden away. I could not understand how it was fair to keep me in solitude, as an unattainable object, while you let Jake have free run of his exuberance.
When I was a girl and dreamed of one day getting married, I only wished to have a man as devoted and true as you. But in the end, not even you were impervious to your own theory. I loved how you took care of me and mother, but as an adult, I came to resent how you kept us dependent on you. Your energies given to our preservation, protection, and even adoration in the end, propagated your theory of men and became a self-fulfilling prophecy, not only for you, but also for Jake. Giving him his freedoms without censure, allowed him to have two children and become a father to neither.
All my life, I have been in and out of relationships, unable to trust the men I am with. I cannot even say that at any time did any of them truly ever deserve my trust or what should be valued in me the most. But, even if they had, I would not have known, because I never really knew my true value myself, until now. I am now 35 years old. I have a college education and I live a free life, however, alone. I have sought to find the right guy and in my most recent attempts, I placed an ad in the personals of Craigslist, amongst others, and I have to say, I hit rock bottom, when Jake responded to my ad, not knowing it was me, with nothing but a picture of his cock.
I know this perpetuation of objectification is unlikely to change overnight or even at all. But for myself, I can change the way in which I am objectified and at least demand value for that which men desire most. If men will only ever see me as an object, then I shall collect on the fruits of this labor and expect remuneration. I can play the game along with them, but from now on, the game will be played with my rules or not at all.
So to respond to your letter father, I do understand. I understand, the who, what, why, and how…vividly. I do not hate you, I never did. I am only disappointed that when you were given the position in life to empower your children and to teach them dignity, honor, and respect, you took the easy way…to go with the status quo. But, father, it was not all for nothing, as I have become powerful and prosperous only because of this deficiency of men and because you taught me never to trust them because of it.
Your Dearest Daughter
Confessions of a Whore in Berlin
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